What the hell is that?
I hear it too!
Sasha, can you hear that?
I can't believe we got shown up
by Troy fucking
Hammerschmiddtt,
that big walking penis!
Arrrgh!
You should be kissing that
Hammerschmiddtt kid's pasty ass!
C'mon, baby, we had that
covered.
And I deserve a purple heart
for getting between the prime
minister's wife and that tray of crab cakes...
Uh, Palmer, if anyone
gets a purple heart, it's me!
Wait a minute!
Huh?!
Yeah.
Yowza.
What in the blue hell...?
Gibbs just stole a detonator
module from Oberon.
Oh no.
With that atomic fuel he
just took from Mars-
yeah, and the codes from that
puss-ass prime minister-
Gibbs now has a bomb
capable of turning a small city
into a large, smouldering
butthole in the ground.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm
gonna go pay a small Asian woman
to beat me for an hour.
Huh.
But if he just wanted a bomb,
why did he steal that coil?
Who gives a rat's ass?
He's got a giant freakin'
bomb now!
So, Jodi, how's it feel to
have lost your virginity to the
modern equivalent of Hitler?
Hey!
Actually, Gibbs is worse than Hitler.
It's like a dozen Hitlers
running a train on you
simultaneously...
well, you'd know about
running on a train because
you know about some other... trains.
Durrr!
Good one Jodi!
Hey!
I'm your Superior Officer,
lieutenant junior grade!
Superior this.
Heyo!
Bad slut!
Bad! Bad! Bad!
Uh! Ow!
All right, bitch!
You wanna do this?
Ow! You dumb ho!
Hey!
You fight like such a girl!
Damn it! That is it.
Is that how it's gonna go?
You are gonna get it!
...gonna shove her head up
her own ass, make her pee
in her mouth...
Babycakes been beggin' for a
sweet knee to the skunk basket...
Been asking for it,
I'm gonna give it to her.
Whoa! Oof!
Whoa,
We have a breakfast nook?
Agh!
Bitch, bitch, bitch!
Ladies, ladies!
Come on.
You're both right!
Jodi, the only man capable of
humping the starch out
of your shorts was a murdering
sociopath.
Sasha... you're a huge
raging bitch.
Hmph!
Am I the only professional
on this entire freakin' robot?
Oh, come on!
Are we really out of cream cheese?
Stupid...
Great.
I'll eat it dry!
Fucking thing!
Hey... did Jodi just leave?
She better be on a cream
cheese run is I'm gonna say.
Um, 'kay.
But listen!
I might know how Gibbs is
manipulating those monsters!
Every single monster emits
the same frequency!
And when I re-broadcast that
frequency, I get what's called
a "ping"...
Oh, God. Less words, Willie!
Eris.
The exact same signal is coming
from Eris!
Dear God.
Didn't you guys have
a mission on Eris once?
Found it!
Behind the baking soda.
That effing baking soda!
Does that even work?
Those baking soda people,
they're the real criminal
masterminds.
...see if I spend my
whole whole freakin' career...
trapped in a tin can with a...
douche slut monkey nerd.
Ewww...
Yeah.
This, uh, sucks.
Yeah, property's dirt cheap
'cause the air scrubbers
can't overpower the methane.
So the whole planet smells like
a cow's asshole and girls won't
move here.
Ooh! Lookey lookey!
Looky looky!
Big flyin' man!
Mades out of metal!
That's Titan Maximum,
professor Cornswaggle.
I'm beginnin' to believe
that professor title was
self-appointed, quite frankly.
Want to know what I wished?
That you didn't hit that duck?
No l...!
Oh go-
You ass!
Ow! So violent.
And so hot.
You deserve it,
you're kind of a jerk.
But only kind of.
Like half-jerk, half-cute.
Maybe sixty-forty.
Want to know what
I wished for?
Like I can't guess.
You egomaniac.
Boo.
Oh, let's not get all
trigger-happy.
I've only got the one eye left.
Are you... here to kill me?
Aw, c'mon.
I'd never hurt my little Jojo.
Hurting people seems like
your new career, you...
dickhead!
I hurt 'em, you save 'em.
That's called synergy.
You killed people!
You betrayed us!
And now you have a bomb...!
All that, plus
I gave up chocolate,
so it's been a very full year.
How can you joke?
Look, I'm here to set
the record straight.
But since the entire solar
system wants my nuts in a vise,
I'd really rather chat on
the ol' Gibbsmobile.
Okie-dokey!
Have it your way, sister.
Answers to all your questions,
exiting, stage left.
Try it, Gibbs. Try to leave.
I'll blow you out of the sky.
Ha ha.
Not without your keys.
Son of a bitch!
Ugh, it smells like
crap pizza.
Whatever's pinging us
is right over...
Whoa!
W-w-wait-wait, we really
shouldn't tamper with a...
oops, doing it anyway.
We are not alone.
What was that?
The worst sound your anus
ever heard.
Jodi, back on lo,
I put you in danger and...
I know that's not sexy.
What are you after?
Money? Power?
Some sick thrill?
Huh, that sounds like
my Christmas list.
But, c'mon, you know that's not
really me.
You know what kind of an awesome
dude I am, Jodi.
What I believe in.
What I stand for.
A woman like you...
a woman like me, what?
A woman like you wouldn't
give me a second thought otherwise.
Or the time of day.
Or that fine, fine booty.
Please.
I know I look like the king
of all nutsacks right now.
But when the dust settles,
you'll see I did what I did for
the greater good.
But what the hell...
I knew my life was gonna get
straight-up monkeyballs.
I had to put serious distance
between us.
To protect me.
You'll see.
Please, just trust me.
I...
No.
The things you've done.
No.
I'm stopping you.
Right now.
Uh,
greetings, space-hicks.
We carry no government cheese.
We ain't lookin' fer trouble,
just give us the girl
and y'all can be on yer way.
Ha! Not in your wildest
in-bred hick fantasy,
you skunk-humper!
Not you, fuggo.
The pretty one.
Aw, they think I'm pretty.
Ha! She's all yours!
Zipper!
Ah, whoa whoa whoa.
Sorry, folks.
"Nobody takes
your little bro's ass
virginity."
It's still intact?
Cha-ching!
You have something in your
teeth, there.
My fist!
Your new name is Banjo Balls!
Yah, how's that feel,
ya dumb hick!
Oh!
Hey, I was just joking around.
Gah!
Ohh!
Aaaaaaaaahhhh!
Sexy!
Wait! What are you doing?
Yeah, Hick!
Oh no! The evidence!
Ow!
Oh.
Um... uh, hi!
Sorry about your ship!
And your face.
And you being dead.
Uh, now what do I save?
What do l... Aaahh!
Ow! That's hot! Ack!
All right... Aaaahh!
Aha! There.
I hope it's cool if I...
Aahhh!
Leon!
C'mon, baby...
I'm sorry!
You went too far!
I can't do this
without your help!
I said...
I need you, Jojo.
No!
Please.
Aw, man!
Those hicks got my radio!
My new album was in there!
Guess I'll have a ton
of new fans.
Goodbye, alien ship.
So much we could have learned.
We escaped without any
redneck seed on us or in us,
Willie.
That's victory enough.
Where the hell was Jodi while
we were punching the sheep semen
out of those dirtballs?
Flying around with one arm
makes us look like a bunch
of frickin' yutzes!
Even with one arm, we can
save the universe first,
scratch our balls second.
Who else are they gonna
turn to?
Sir?
It's Titan.
Admiral!
Always a pleasure.
Are we still on schedule?
My good sir, you're talking
to a Hammerschmiddtt.
We're whipping the schedule
like an uppity rent boy.
Dad!
You have got to stop using
that metaphor.
How about you, Junior?
Ready?
If dad can build it,
I can fly it.
To think, Gibbs' true legacy
could be accomplishing what
no "peace feast" ever could...
uniting Mars and Titan...
to whip him like an uppity
rent boy.
Dad!
So...
Does this mean you trust me?
Oh, no.
* Everybody on the dance floor *
* Take my hand, cause the plan *
* Is to make you my man *
* We'll have fun *
* When your big gun
gets all shooty *
* Take your aim, have no shame *
* My heart is stain-resistant *
* You're fully cocked *
* The target's locked *
* On this rock hard booty *
Booty
This album sucks.